The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Wow, am I in a strange mood. I've been listening to Savage Garden all afternoon, so either I've lost my mind entirely, or I'm having a flashback to 8th grade.

Adding on to my previous entry...



~ Last night was the Concert in the Park, but I didn't go to it because Mike and I could see the fireworks from my window perfectly. Fireworks always have had a sad connotation to them for me, but last night I finally got a good fireworks memory.



~ The thing that sucked though was that they ended the show with those foreworks that just flash round, bright white light and make a booming sound. Those freak me out because they remind me of bombs, and I don't need to explain why the thought of those freak me out.



~ I am trying to procrastinate packing up the rest of my stuff, which is why I'm writing in here again. Yes, I know, bad Sway, go do your work.

Random little tidbits, as I don't feel like writing a long entry.



~ I am going to start getting back in shape. Not that I'm fat, my BMI is 19, but I want to strengthen my stomach and arms. I want to be able to do a push up again, which I haven't been able to do since I was in tae kwon do.



~ When Mike changed for work last night, he left his clothes over here. I thought it was the girl who was supposed to do that kind of thing?



~ We're picking up the key to our apartment tonight, taking over a few essentials (toilet paper, food) and we're officially moving in tomorrow.



~ The construction workers downstairs are using a table saw to cut through sheets of metal, and it's been making this horrid squealing sound (worse than a metal fork on a chalkboard) since 9 am.



~ I am listining to my warped tour 2004 cd, and I forgot how much I liked it. Very political.



~ I'm annoyed that the acolyte test is still down. After a year and a half on here, I finally reach Shaitan (not much to to spend online) and I can't take the test. Wahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!



~ I'm trying every way I know how to let Mike know how I feel about him thinking about going back into the service (i.e: not fucking happy, to put it nicely) without telling him flat out that I don't want him to do it. If it comes down to it, I'll tell him, but he's like me in that if he wants something, nothing can stop him.



~ I'm excited to be moving to a nicer place, but I'm kind of going to miss living in the projects. We've been here for almost 3 years, the longest time I've lived in one place. Most people get freaked out when they find out where I live, but it's not bad when you get used to it and know how to act so you don't get messed with.



~ My dwarf hamster Wesley gave me one hell of a scare yesterday. He was sitting in the bottom of his cage, not moving and not blinking. I offered him a treat, and poked him with it, and he still didn't move. I shook the cage, and he moved a little, so I put him in his running ball and he took off like crazy, so he's okay. Maybe he was meditating. Great, that's the last thing I need, a Buddhist hamster. Now I have to get a statue for his cage.



~ I enjoy complaining greatly, can't you tell?

This morning Mike told me that he's thinking of going into the Air Force reserve. He was already in the navy for four years, and I know the military is in his heart, but I don't know what I would do if he decided to. I had to fight to keep from crying when he told me he was thinking about it. I love him too much to risk losing him.

My mom's been bringing alcohol home more frequently lately. I'll tell you all one thing straight up. If she starts drinking like she used to, I will leave. I don't care if I have to live in a damn homeless shelter again. Once in a while is fine, but I'm starting to get worried about her again. Especially with her medicine! She's getting older and needs to take better care of herself, and I'm not going to put up with her drinking and being mean to me again.

Things just keep on getting better! (yes, that was sarcasm ladies and gentlemen). I haven't heard from Radio Shack yet, but I have heard from two more bill collectors. I set up an interview at Sears on the fifth, and got a letter from Job and Family Services today saying I have an appointment on the 10th to see if I'm still eligible for Medicaid. Which, as it turns out since I was kicked out of college, I may not be. Lovely. I've had a terrible ache above my left eye all day long, and I can't get a hold of Mike. Argh!!

I have a crapload of things to do before Saturday. I need to finish packing up my room, and the kitchen is a fucking diaster area. I'll get it all done, hopefully, but it'd be nice to have a few more hours in a day.

My interview last night went pretty well. I had to take a personality and a math test as well as filling out another application and having a short pre-interview. They'll be calling people within 48 hours, so now I just have to wait. After I got home, I cooked some eggs and toast for dinner for me, and then I made some chicken bites for my mom, and burned the hell out of my hand in the process. I can cook pretty well, but I always end up hurting myself.

Whew. After way too much work, I look as much like a fresh faced, energetic, peppy future employee as possible. What I really want to do is say fuck it, get into my pajamas, and read a book. Especially after I heard how crappy it is to work there. Oh well, I gots to do what I gots to do. And you know what really sucks? I gots to do it in high heels.

We got it all figured out. We're moving into an apartment in the same building, but on the second floor, and we get a balcony for no extra charge. Yay! My plants now have a home, and I can get more now. Plus, the dsl line we'll be switching to is only 3,000 feet from the substation, so it'll be really fast.

Son of a farting monkey! We were just informed that the apartment we were supposed to move into this Saturday got water damaged during the storms we had last week. Now I have no idea what's going on with the move. We already have the utlilities set to transfer over, and the uhaul truck set up. Plus, we have to be out of here asap, as we are in the process of being evicted and sued for back rent for the apartment we are currently in. Argh!!!

Redid the profile. Go on, take a look. It's prettyful. Or at least I think so. Let me know what you all think.

It's gloomy outside. The perfect morning for a cup of tea, some toast (Yea Toast!) sorry, couldn't help it, natural reaction. And a book.

Bah. I'm spending today packing up the rest of my room, doing some cleaning (that whole leave a place cleaner than when you found it girl scout mentality is still with me) and trying to make myself look corporate for my interview tomorrow. It's a big hiring fair, so I have a ton of competition. I am not a buisness suit type person. I am a jeans and t-shirt girl who cleans up nicely in a dress. But I hate having to look "professional," which is a synonym for boring and predictable. Well, I guess I'll let you all know how it goes tomorrow. Oh, and mike called me this morning just to hear my voice and tell me he loves me. It's so amazing to have found a man who realizes how much little things mean to me.

I sound like a psychopath in some of my entries today. Currently I am going on 34 and 1/2 hours with no sleep and counting. However, the boyfriend crashed out in my room after only 22 hours of no sleep. I win! (yes, I am still 5 years old)

I've now been up for 30 hours straight. I think I'm going to try and pull a record. See how long I can go without sleeping. Maybe I'll see a talking zebra. (Don't ask)

Today I hate how I look. No real reason why. I just do.

Today, after 24 hours of no sleep and one cup of coffee, I finally figured out why I have been so clingy to my boyfriend and mother lately. I am a big planner, and had a long term career plan that started with finishing college. However, I found out a few weeks ago that I was kicked out because my gpa was too low after several illnesses, depression, and two surgeries that plagued my freshman year. It threw my plan away and my future is now up in the air, waiting for the fates to decide what happens next. Thus triggering my anxiety. Naturally, I began to cling on tightly (think that new sticky-ish saran wrap tightly) to my boyfriend and my mother. Plus the whole moving from the apartment we've lived in for the past 3 years (the longest I've ever stayed in one home) adds to the whole everything changing issue. I have problems with Change. Big problems. As in I want to find Change out on a street corner and kick it's communist hippie ass into the next century. Well, at least the past few months has greatly improved my sense of humor. Oh, and my mom is Jesus.

There goes my mood roller coaster again. I am now annoyed and tired. The boyfriend and I went to IHOP after he got off work, then came back to my house to watch a movie. Until 5 am. Then he wanted to check some things out on the internet, which turned out to be a two hour ordeal. Then, after promising to help me take apart the entertainment center when my mom woke up, he left at 7:45am to go pay some bills and get some sleep. She woke up 5 minutes after he left. He could have gotten some sleep while he was here, and I could have used some too, considering that I've been up for 23 hours straight now. I am not pretty when I have a lack of sleep. Nor am I cheery, especially when I am informed that said boyfriend has no idea when he will be back to help with said entertainment center. *proceeds to rip out hair*

Why is it that I always jump to the worst conclusion when it comes to men? For example, I called mike tonight at 5. He didn't answer, so I called back at 6:30. Still no answer. By the time 8pm rolls around, I am pissed as hell and have a scenario in my head of him hanging out with his friends and purposely ignoring my phone calls. The real situation, as I found out when he called me at 8:30, was that he was sleeping because he didn't go to bed until early this afternoon. He was also just pulling into work, because they called him in (on one of his few precious days off) to work an extra four hours tonight, and that he's going to have to work an extra four hours every first weekend day that he gets off. So here I was, pissed at him because I thought he was off partying and abandoning me, when he was really sleeping and then being jerked around by his boss. I thought that unions were made to keep that kind of crap from happening. But anyway, I don't know why my mind just went off all crazy like that. He's loving and devoted beyond measure, and yet I'm still untrusting to a slight degree. Probably because all the guys I trusted before either lied to me, fucked with my head, or cheated on me. I can't believe that all of that had such a big impact on how I view people. I need to relax and get it through my very stubborn, hard headed skull that everything's going to be okay, and there's no reason for me to jump to false conclusions or get angry over nothing. Wow, I sound like a self help book, or a quote from Anger Management.



" I feel pretty... oh so pretty... "

The future of my mood does not look good when I am sitting at home at 6:40pm on a Friday night and listening to Godsmack.

Hey, good news. The lady I talked to at Radio Shack has moved up the hiring fair to the 27th, that's this Tuesday, and has me penned down for an interview. She said they are in desperate need of people. Yay! Plus I got an email from this New York model and acting agency that wants me to be a talent scout for them. They look legit, but I'd rather work for Radio Shack. Big corporations have a lot more credibility.



Right now I'm in the phase of moving where I'm giving away all the crap I don't want anymore to the neighbors. Next phase will be throwing things in boxes randomly and labeling them miscellanous. This is the last weekend we have to pack, as we're moving next Saturday. I may be pagan and know full well we can't do this, but right now I wish I had the ability to move crap just by pointing at it. It would make packing go so much quicker.



Then of course there's that novel of mine. The outline is sitting on my desk, just begging to be elaborated on. And the main character is still missing a name. *le sigh* Plus I have some jewelry pieces that I need to finish so I can get them into the store, and I need to make this matching asian necklace/bracelet set I promised Toni.



Why do I think someone is playing a trick on me by putting my interview, the moving of an entire house, the Fourth of July, and my 6th month anniversary all in only a two week span of time??

You know you are in love when even snoring sounds cute rather than annoying...

Hey everybody, get those bones in your hair, that paint on your faces, and start doing a good luck dance for me. Radio Shack just emailed me to set up an interview, and now I'm just waiting to find out a date and time.

I finally got to sleep in this morning. I got a whole 11 hours of sleep, and dreamed the whole time. I haven't been sleeping much lately, so I was all happy when I woke up and it wasn't like 7 am. Plus it's all overcast and rainy out today. A nice relief from the constant hot sun and oppressive humidity we've been having lately. I think this calls for a celebration with a nice cup of tea before I begin (or attempt to begin, considering my rampant procrastination) working on packing up my room some more.

That man of mine is a wonder. Mike called me this morning (and woke me up, the only person who can do that and not die) to complain about his lawn mower. Then he just happened to slip in that when he was out yesterday, he bought me a jeweler's hammer, a ring sizer, and a ring stretcher in a little kit. He knows how much I want to make rings, and that I can't afford to do anything about it right now. I've never had someone do something like that for me. He constantly surprises me.



Things are still good. A job lead still eludes me, but I'm moving soon (July 1) and the packing up is keeping me busy. I never realized how much crap I had lying around until I actually had to organize and pack it. Plus I'm thinking of starting a website again. It's been a few years since I've had one up, but I'm not sure what to make it on. Any suggestions would be great.

The moon was amazing Saturday night. It was perfectly half full, and this gorgeous red rust color. I wish it looked like that all the time. Mike actually told me that there is a legend that says when the moon is that color, vampires don't feed as they consider the blood of humans to be impure at that time. Funny... he doesn't know of my vampire fascination...

Not a single phone call for a job yet. I do have an opportunity to tutor two little kids in math, but I have to decide how much to charge, and I have no idea. I desperately need a job now. My mom keeps telling me it's going to be alright, but she's not the one who's nearly 2,000 dollars in debt, and she can't help me out. I'm doing everything I can right now, short of groveling to my grandparents for more money, which I really, really don't want to do since I already went through the entire mutual fund they had for me. I need a miracle.

I want to thank DruantiaGoddess for gifting the premium membership she won in the 1000 favor contest, and Danzig1330 for gifting it over to me. My love and hugs to both of you.

Things that are annoying me at this very moment:



1. my neighbor's incessantly loud rap music

2. the noise from the construction worker's shop vac

3. the fact that my apartment is filled with construction workers and I can't take a shower.

4. depending on his work schedule, I may not even get to see Mike this weekend

5. my tea is already cold

6. I have applied to 7 places, and have not gotten a single phone call yet.

7. I need to be able to drive and pay my bills, but that all rests on getting a job (see #6)

8. I think I'm getting carpal tunnel from rating things.

After this week, I truly appreciate the work my mom has done keeping our different homes beautiful over the years. Keeping a home clean and organzied is a full time job, and if you have pets (or kids, same thing), add on a good 15-20 hours overtime per week. I love being able to stand in the living room and see it spotless, it's calming.

Oh, how adorable. I was just blocked from sending someone messages because he was too weak to continue verbally sparring with me after he disrespected my wishes by biting me. How cute. If someone is going to purposefully bite me in order to start an arguement, at least have the balls to finish it. I have no respect for those who act like pussies. Remove head from sphincter, then speak to me.

Today was busy and disgusting. I got up at 6:30, an ungodly hour, and was at Mike's house by 8 am. I spent until noon cleaning, and barely made a dent. The only liveable room is the kitchen, and I ended up hauling out 6 full trashbags to the garage. There are 3 dogs and a cat in that house, and the two puppies are not potty trained yet. Yes, that house is full of shit, literally. Thankfully I found gloves in the bathroom, which were put to their full use. And i'm used to animal excrement, so I wasn't squeamish. There is still a ton of work to be done in there though. However, the mess in the house isn't his fault, because he's constantly working, and the puppies have a knack of ripping apart garbage bags and scattering the contents wherever they please. And as one of the puppies, Rhianna, is mine and I am unable to help with care costs, as well as the fact that when he isn't working, he's spending time with me, I was happy to help out and make things a bit easier (and nicer) for him. From noon to 4:30 ish, I curled up with him and took a nap (he works midnights). Then he headed to work, and mom and I went to look at a bigger apartment in the same building, which was ugly and badly layed out, so we're sticking with the smaller one. Then out to dinner at El Rincon, as I had nothing to eat except an apple in the past two days, and then dumpster diving for packing boxes. Then I commented to mom that I was tired, and she said how could I be tired when i had done nothing that day, and I clarified for her. After that I climbed online and applied for jobs at TGI Fridays, Dillards, and Home Depot. I figure that someone has to call me back eventually. I still need to re-pot my plants and get some more packing done, but I think that'll have to wait until tomorrow.

I'm going stir crazy from being in the house all week, and I miss Mike. I haven't seen him since Tuesday because he's so busy working, and he might have to work all weekend too. I know he has no choice because of the line of work he's in right now, but guardrail can go to hell. Well, it could be worse. He could still be in the military and I'd never see him. I've got it much better than army girlfriends, but I still miss him.

Here's a shocker for you, I got kicked out of college. Yep. Fucking bastards. So I've spent the past 3 or so days looking frantically for a job, and deciding what my next career path should be. I'm sick and tired of my worth being based on a letter on a piece of paper. I'm better than that.



On a personal note, mom and I finally found an apartment. We move in on July 1st, it's still in the city but in a nicer area, and here's the kicker... they're under new management, so they're redoing everything to be gorgeous, it's got gargoyles on the front grounds, and it's being renamed Ridgewood Castle. How fitting is that? Now my swords and my dragon bedspread (along with all my medieval decorations) will have a proper place to call home.



So, I've had a few setbacks finacially and future plans-wise, but other than that things are still going really good for me.

Creditors are life's little way of tormenting the shit out of the poor. Now i have two credit card companies, my cell company, and my bank all bitching their heads off and charging me fees up the ass because I have roughly $1,500 in debt right now, and nothing i can do about it. I'm lost.